


Lost Cause

by reigningqueenofwords



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 03:25:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18241406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords





	Lost Cause

Kicking your feet forward, you leaned back.

Tucking your feet back, you leaned forward.

Again.

Again.

And…

Again.

Finally, after your legs burned, and your hands were sore from holding on, you stopped kicking. Letting your feet dangle, you listened the sound of your sneakers moving against the old tires that had been ground up to line the playground.

Your Y/E/C eyes scanned the area, the colors changing as the sun set. There was a light breeze, blowing your shoulder length Y/H/C hair slightly. “There you are, puddin’.” Gabriel said lovingly, walking from the opposite direction of where you were looking. “Been looking for you. Imagine my surprise when I couldn’t just snap to you.” There was a hint of pain in his voice.

Finally, you looked over to him. “Sorry, babe.” You sighed, getting up and walking over to him. “I just wanted to be alone for a bit.” You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face in his chest.

Instantly, his arms were around you. “What’s wrong?” He asked, his nose against your hair. “You aren’t the alone type, sweetcheeks.”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. Can we just get home?” You asked, looking up at him with a pout.

Chuckling, he kissed your forehead and snapped his fingers. “Home sweet home.” He smiled. “Still can’t begin to tell you how glad I am you asked to get this place together. I don’t think I could have stayed another minute living with those two wahoos.”

Rolling your eyes playfully, you smacked his chest. “You didn’t have to. You could leave with a snap of your fingers.” You teased.

“Yeah, but you were there soooooo.” He shrugged. “How about I make us a couple sundaes, snap us into our comfiest pjs, and we watch your favorite movie?” Gabriel hated not knowing what was wrong. He’d known you for six years, and been with you for three. The pair of you bought this house about 7 months prior, and in the past few days, something felt off. “Or do you miss those two peabrained brothers of yours?”

“Sometimes.” You sighed. “But, it doesn’t matter.”

Gabriel cupped your cheek. “Hey, talk to me.” His eyes locked with yours. “Something is seriously wrong, and it’s killing me not to be able to help.” His thumb brushed your cheek. 

Closing your eyes, you teared up. “I-I talked to them the other day.” You whispered. You saw the confusion on his face as you opened your eyes again. A tear rolled down your cheek. “Dean’s still not happy about us.” You sighed. 

_“He’s a freakin’ archangel!” Dean pointed out, anger written all over his face. His green eyes were full of rage. “He’s killed me more times than I can count, sis.” He added. “Why on Earth would you ever be with someone like that?”_

_You wiped your cheek. “I love him, Dean.” You breathed, shrugging. “You don’t choose who you fall in love with, and I wouldn’t change this for anything.”_

_He ran his hand through his hair as Sam came in, looking between the pair of you. “Whoa, what’s going on?” He asked, concerned when he saw your face._

_Dean scoffed. “I just found out she’s been seeing Gabriel.” He snapped. “For six months.”_

_Sam’s eyebrows shot up at that. “You’re seeing Gabriel? Wait, how’d you find out?” He asked, looking at Dean, confused._

_“I really don’t ever want to think about that again. Ever.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Anyways, I banished his ass to talk to this one.” He waved at you._

His jaw clenched. “What the hell did they do?” He asked, his voice low. You could feel the protectiveness radiating off of him. It always made you feel his love, even if there was nothing he could possibly do to help your situation.

“Dean said I’m a lost cause.” You sighed, shrugging. “Tried convincing me that you’ll get bored or something.” You went on. “That there was no way you could actually love me.” You kept your eyes downcast, not wanting to see his face as you spoke. “Reminded me that I wasn’t a good hunter, either, and that I need them to protect me since you’ll probably vanish one day and I’ll mope around the house, waiting for you.” Sniffing, you wiped your cheek. “H-he told me that I shouldn’t be allowed to use the name ‘Winchester’ if I’m going to be so stupid and throw my life away.” You let out a choked sob.

Gabriel was fuming, his chest heaving. “Look at me.” He told you. When you shook your head, he put his finger under your chin and gently made you look up. “You are not a lost cause.” His eyes were soft, yet his tone was firm. “There’s no way on Dad’s green Earth that I’ll get bored with you. I love you more than I love all the sweets I’ve had in my lifetime.” He smirked as you blinked, trying to calculate how many he’d eaten in his eons alive. Candy being invented would have just upped that total. “So what if you weren’t a good hunter? You’re the best cook I’ve ever met, you have a beautiful singing voice, you’re the most laid back and fun person, and so many other things that mean more than being some old hunter.” As he spoke, he tucked some hair behind your ear. “I will always be here to protect you, I promise, and you use the name Winchester because you are one. You aren’t throwing your life away, you’re living it your way. That’s what matters.”

Swallowing, you were still crying. “It just hurts, and what he said about us isn’t what killed me the most.” You admitted. “It was just knowing that he thought that about me for years- about me being a bad hunter. Did he think I was a lost cause then, too?” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

Holding you close while you cried, he wished he could just smite them. However, he was pretty sure that would upset you further. “Well, to me, you’ve never been a lost cause, sweet cheeks.” He said gently. His goal, for now, would be to comfort you. You were his top priority, and would be for the rest of your life.

* * *

You worked, while Gabriel stayed home. He worked odd jobs here and there to help out, but you didn’t mind. Working kept you busy, and keeping busy kept your mind from wandering to your brother’s words. However, walking in your front door every night, the conversation you’d had with Gabriel played in your mind. Kicking off your shoes, you let out a breath and looked around. It had been a week since that evening, and it still felt like it was just yesterday.

“Gabe?” You called out, pulling off your coat. “Babe?” You tried again, confused. If Gabe planned to be gone when you got home, he would call you at work, or tell you before you left. He was not the time to just leave you hanging. “Hello?” You made your way into the kitchen, but there was no sign of him. Logic told you that it was nothing, but your brothers words fed your fear.

What if he was tired of how moody you had been? What if he was sick of you being so down? What if something happened to him? Your mind began to run away with you as your breathing picked up. This wasn’t you! You kept repeating that over and over in your mind, but each time, it was less convincing, and quieter.

Shaking your head, you headed towards the basement door. Pausing, you bit your lip, trying to figure out what you even wanted down there. It was basically storage for random crap. Turning on your heel, you went to the junk drawer and pulled out a small pad of paper and a pencil.

##  _Dearest Gabriel…_

* * *

Staring at the note in your hand, you licking your lips and placed it gently in the middle of the table. Next to it was his small bowl of candy that never seemed to empty. You ran your fingers over it and went back towards the basement door, your heart hammering in your chest. Licking your lips, you pulled open the door and slowly made your way down. Once at the bottom, you reached up and pulled the thin chain for basement light.

Everything was ominous looking, which you found rather fitting. “I am just a lost cause.” You breathed, tearing up. Pulling out your phone, you looked down at it and debated calling your brothers, but chose not to. Why would you?

* * *

Gabriel sighed, rolling his eyes at your brothers. “Guys, come on!” He had been arguing with them for what felt like hours, although he wasn’t entirely sure. “Her birthday is in a month. She would want you there.” He pleaded, putting aside his distaste for the pair of them for you.

Dean glared at the angel, arms crossed. “I told you, it ain’t happenin’!” He snapped.

“So, you’re so butthurt over her loving me, that you’ll make her feel like complete garbage?” He glared, his loathing for the men in front of him coming through. “She told me about that little conversation she had with you. Telling her she’s a lost cause? What kind of sorry excuse for an older brother are you?”

“That’s great, coming from you.” Sam scoffed. “Didn’t you hide while your brothers went at it on a deadly scale?”

His eyes moved to Sam. “I highly doubt comparing something of a cosmic scale to you two being complete dickbags is the right way to go.” He said sarcastically. “Think about being there for her birthday at the very least.” Snapping his fingers, he left them in silence.

* * *

“Sugar, I’m home!” He called out from the dining room. “Was thinking I’d take you out for dinner.” Gabriel added when he spotted the time on the clock. He didn’t hear the shower, so he didn’t think you were upstairs. “Babe?” He tried again, making his way to the kitchen.

Furrowing his brows, he noticed the note on the table and lifted it up. He quickly read it, his stomach, and heart, dropping. Snapping his fingers, the boys were in his kitchen as the paper fluttered to the table, him already in the basement. “No!” He cried out, rushing to get you down.

* * *

Pulling over an old chair, you stood on it, some rope in hand. Gabriel had set up an old fashioned clothes line in the back per your request, and tossed the excess rope down in the basement. Now the smooth white rope was in your hands, being looped over a beam. The room, and the house, was oddly quiet as you worked. You knew this wouldn’t be instant, but it felt like your only option, and the best bet.

Once it was set, you stopped for a moment, staring at the noose in your hands. “Lost cause, right?” You breathed, a tear rolling down your cheek.

* * *

Dean was confused as to why the hell they had been snapped there until he heard Sam’s voice. “Dean!” He panicked, rushing down the basement stairs when he heard Gabriel’s voice.

Following his younger brother, it felt like he had been punched in the gut. He had just turned the corner in time to see Gabriel remove the rope from your already bruised neck. All the things he said to you came crashing down on his shoulders, and he felt guilt wash over him.

Gabriel looked over at them. “Are you happy now?” He sobbed, cradling your body.


End file.
